They Thought It Was All Over… But It’s Not! Stupid Joke Friday Returns

The first Stupid Joke Friday for quite a while so I’m giving you a few to make up for it. I hope you enjoy!

DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE…

A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. “What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?” asks the cop. “I’m a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act.” “Oh yeah?” says the doubtful cop. “Lets see you do it.” The juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches masterfully.

A couple driving by slows down to watch. “Wow,” says the driver to his wife. “I’m glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they’re giving now!”

PIGS…

Five pigs went into a bar. The first pig asked for one glass of beer. He drank it and asked where the bathroom was. The bartender said, “Down the hall and to the right.”

The second pig ordered 2 glasses of beer. He drank them and asked where the bathroom was. The bartender said, “Down the hall and to the right.”

The third pig ordered 3 glasses of beer. He drank them down, then asked where the bathroom was. The bartender said, “Down the hall and to the right.”

The fourth pig ordered 4 glasses of beer. He drank them down then asked where the bathroom was. The bartender said, “Down the hall and to the right.”

The fifth pig ordered 5 glasses of beer. He drank them down, paid his tab, then began to leave. The bartender stopped him and said, “Aren’t you going to ask where the bathroom is?” The pig replied, “No. I’m the one that goes wee-wee all the way home!”

 

YOU DO THE MATHS…

 

In the old west, a settler is watching an Indian meeting. There is an old woman sitting on a hippopotamus hide, and two younger women sitting on other types of pelts. Everybody seems to be listening to the old woman, but paying only half as much attention to the younger ones. After a while the settler asks his Indian guide why the older woman is treated with so much more respect. The guide answers, “The squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws of the other two hides.”

HAHhAhAHAHAhahahaHhahHAHA

All stupid I think you’ll agree, but which is your favourite?