the blasts, the fallout, the sickness and the diar[y]hoea

Archive for January 2007

I think you’ll find…

January 31, 2007

On the way into work this morning I saw a pair of kids hanging around the station just passing the time by scrawling grafitti on the seat. Oh the hedonistic days of youth. How did I grow up never realising the joy to be had standing on a cold station platform writing crap on furniture? […]

You Want A What?

January 30, 2007

The phone rings. I pick up the handset and say, “Hello, *****, Fatman speaking how may I help you?” The very picture of professionalism. A timid voice says, “Hello. I am Polish hand job seeker.” WTF? “I’m sorry, could you repeat that please?” “I am Polish hand job seeker please.” “OK. I think you may […]

Just Why Did I Get Up This Morning?

January 30, 2007

An uncomfortable morning this morning. Littleboy had some news but before I get into that I’ll tell you about him. He’s 15, wears mainly black and has an aversion to washing. However he does seem to prove that the Lynx effect pales in comparison to the 2 ASBO’s (for loitering and graffiti) and oversized hoody […]

And he shoots, and scores

January 29, 2007

Excerpt from C.V. I received today: ” CURRICULUM VITAE ” Dear Sir/Madam,  listed below are a list of my skils for you to overlook:   So I did. Straight into the bin. Perfect shot. Fucking idiots wasting my time!  

And the winner is…

January 29, 2007

I hate work. It’s official. It probably doesn’t come as a big surprise to anyone. I’m an educated man and yet I find myself dragging my arse into a small grey office to work with people who barely dip a toe into the shallow end of the gene pool. There’s Sourpuss, a middle aged, a […]

It Wasn’t Sweetcorn

January 28, 2007

OK. I think I’ve got over it now. I think. We had the house to ourselves, Littleboy and Trinity out robbing the unsuspecting public or getting knocked up. Again. But more of that later. Anyway me and Enola Gay decided to have a nice tea – chips and a steak and onion pukka pie for […]