the blasts, the fallout, the sickness and the diar[y]hoea

You Want A What?

The phone rings. I pick up the handset and say, “Hello, *****, Fatman speaking how may I help you?” The very picture of professionalism. A timid voice says, “Hello. I am Polish hand job seeker.”


“I’m sorry, could you repeat that please?”

“I am Polish hand job seeker please.”

“OK. I think you may have dialled the wrong number.”

“No, no. I come there hand job you give me.”

“We don’t do that kind of thing sir. You’ll have to try somewhere else. Once again I’m sorry.” A nervous silence.

“My friend comes with you. You gave him money hand job?” slightly aggressive.

“I don’t think so sir. I’m going to hang up now.” I do.

Aint my job is great! I just got asked for a sex act by a Polish man… unless he meant and not hand.

Oops. Still, he’s either a pervert or can’t speak English correctly so nevermind.

Only 2 hrs/40 fags/2 BBs to go


3 Responses to “You Want A What?”

  1. I am assuming since you said he had an accent that he was Polish, and seeking a hand job. Or is there something called a “Polish hand job” If so, please elaborate.

  2. He was Polish and seeking a job. He meant to say “I am Polish and job seeker” i.e. “I am Polish and seeking a job”, unfortunately he said “I am Polish hand job seeker”. It was a little confusing and I only realised later he wasn’t requesting something…err… lewd.

    As far as I am aware there is nothing called a “Polish hand job” but I must admit my knowledge on the subject is fairly limited.

  3. OK. I had to know, so with the power of Google this is the definition of a “Polish handjob”.

    I have to say I am very surprised there is such a thing.

    You live and learn. Thanks to you Sarcasmom I am enlightened. 🙂

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