the blasts, the fallout, the sickness and the diar[y]hoea

No, I Am Not Pleased To See You. And Yes, This Is A Gun In My Pocket

There is a brothel across the street from us. It’s no big deal. I’m not against it on any puritanical grounds, if anything I think prostitution should be legalised. For many reasons.

The women who work there turn up early in the morning with their ruck sacks presumably filled with the tools of their trade like any other working man or woman in the country. They don’t bother anyone, seem very pleasant and are pretty much non-descript.

It’s common knowledge in my small neighbourhood that the brothel is there, and that it is not just a no-holds-barred type of establishment but more a place that caters for particular needs. Most often involving leather and chastisement of the customers. I think some men even frequent the brothel to dress as babies. Yes, weird, but apart from taking up parking spaces with their BMW’s or Mercs they aren’t a problem.

It’s the twunts who feel it necessary to knock on my window at 9 o’fuckin clock saying, “Is dis de brothel mate?” or, “Where can i get me a shag mate?” or, “Show us ya tits…oh sorry mate. Is there a prozzy in there?”

Several things about them annoy me:

  1. They are on my street
  2. They knock on my window
  3. They are the piss-poorest example of men I have ever seen
  4. Some unfortunate woman may actually have to have sex with them
  5. They are ugly and favour Burberry caps as a fashion choice
  6. They are clearly stupid twunts who should be forbidden from having sex lest it encourage them to procreate

I need to find some kind of anti-personnel weapons to get them the fuck away from my house!


5 Responses to “No, I Am Not Pleased To See You. And Yes, This Is A Gun In My Pocket”

  1. No weapons needed, just a big sign “NO TITS HERE” should do it

  2. Yes. But one wonders who may turn up looking for something else!

    But you’re right Ldbug, I should try more peaceful means first. Thanks for the tip! 🙂

  3. By the way Ldbug I tried to comment on your blog but it would only accept blogspot usernames! Is that right or was I missing something?

  4. Couldn’t you just put up a big sign? “THIS. IS. NOT. A. BROTHEL.”


  5. I don’t think they would believe the gun thing, not many of those in the UK. I could put a sign up but somehow it annoys me that I may have to.

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