the blasts, the fallout, the sickness and the diar[y]hoea

Bitesize Lives

Things I overheard today:

Girl in queue at Marks and Spencer to her friend:
“Apparently, Jasmine’s boyfriend wears her knickers…”

Old Lady to her Old Lady friend at fruit and veg section in Marks and Spencer:
“Oh no, he wont eat bananas – he’s afraid of yellow you know!”

A man walking in front of me in street to his mate:
“It was a good party. You know Margaret Atkins the F.D.? She got it on with Gerry the forkie! Her husband was still there!”

Chain smoking business woman sitting on wall on mobile phone:
“No I wont go on hold again, I ordered 100 forks for this weekend and…”

Man walking along the street after being stopped by a group of people:
“Fucking Americans!”

Other people’s lives sound interesting in bite size snippets. Just what does Jasmine think of her beau’s lingerie fetish, indeed does she know? Afraid of yellow? Why? What happened to make him xanthophobic? (I looked it up, it has a name) Actually I do know Margaret Atkins! Very naughty Margaret! Just why does she need 100 forks? And, yes, fucking Americans.

From now on listen to people, eavesdrop to your hearts content it’s amazing what you can hear. Just be wary of what you say because you never know who is listening!


2 Responses to “Bitesize Lives”

  1. yesterday I heard a woman saying to her girlfriend ‘I know I’ve put weight on because my pants are crawling up my bum!’


    I did have a little chuckle…

  2. I have to share something with you. I’m just in from a shopping trip and I literally logged straight on to tell you this..

    As I walked home, very close to my home in fact, I walked past an elderly couple, probably in their 70’s.

    She gave ‘herself’ a good old itch as they were a few feet in front of me.. and as they walked past her fella said..

    ‘I know crabs are a pain in the arse but at least you’re getting rid of them now..’

    I did nearly laugh out loud .. I tried to control it but I let out a ‘ba hah’ of explosive laughter control .. I hope they did not observe my hilarity at their misfortune!!


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