the blasts, the fallout, the sickness and the diar[y]hoea

A Bulletin From The CV Front

CVs are my bread and butter. I get so many of them it is slightly annoying, except I need them. It would be fine if they were all good. Not even amazing, just good. But that would be too much to ask. Some as I’ve posted before are terrible others are just irritatingly stupid. It never ceases to amaze me that people looking for a job and sending off the most fundamental piece of information about themselves in an employment capacity have yet to grasp the purpose of spell check. Seriously, it’s right there in the name – SPELL CHECK -a little button marked for ease of use and ready to help. Just waiting to be clicked and to help them out. Below are some of the errors in some CVs I received lately.

First are the contradictory statements filed under special skills –

I am extremely detail oriented


english speaker

Now the excessive use of the thesaurus –

I am an efficient worker able to work in an effective, organized, streamlined manner making me both business like and cost effective.

I have a superb work ethic. I am diligent, hardworking full of commitment and energy.

Then there are the most irritating things. When they get things just wrong.

Vica versa

myriad of

comprised of


I have exceptionable people skills (No wonder you are looking for a job)

I was instrumental in the rolling out of several ordnances for the city council to control anti-social behaviour (A little extreme perhaps?)

Just get a dictionary, use it sparingly and spell check the document when you type it up. And please God! type it up. HANDWRITTEN is not a good thing, it does not, as one Mr. Stu Pidarse claims “give a personal touch” to the process. It makes you look like a moron!!!


Will To Live Factor 67.43%


2 Responses to “A Bulletin From The CV Front”

  1. Not entirely the same thing, but at the mmarket where I work we grind he whole coffee beans customers purchase at the register if they want us to. Some cashirs will ask “Do you want your coffee grounded?” I always cringe , but refrain frm asking if they mean grounded electrically or emottionally.

  2. Your typing is exceptionable! 🙂

    You would just confucius them anyway. Though emotionally grounded coffee sounds like a good idea!

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