the blasts, the fallout, the sickness and the diar[y]hoea

Archive for May 2007

A New Meaning To “Dumped”!

May 31, 2007

I have been very busy. This is why I am posting for the first time this week and it’s Thursday! Terrible, and I missed another Monday Cartoon. I apologise. Not much to say really except that the liquorice diet doesn’t work for boosting sexual prowess; it’s great for weight loss since you spend a huge […]

A Horse, A Horse, My Kingdom For A Horse… Would You Settle For A Stupid Joke Friday?

May 25, 2007

A man goes to the doctors. “What seems to be the problem?” the doctor says when he walks into the office. “Well… I have a lettuce…,” the man pauses embarrassed, “…a lettuce poking from my arse!” “Really!” the doctor exclaims. “Yes, and nothing I do will get rid of it!” “Hmmm,” the doctor ponders. “OK. […]

What’s In A Name?

May 24, 2007

I’m killing time. I’m surprised Time comes round here anymore to be honest since it seems I have nothing but murder in my heart for it. Yet, it does and so I try to find ways, the more inventive the better, to kill it. Much like the Spanish Inquisition I suppose. Yes that’s me, the […]

If Your Betty Boo Is A Number Two Urine Trouble!

May 23, 2007

BB1’s camping trip to the toilet has stretched into its second day. During the limited time he spent in the office he has tried to define to BB2 the quality of his diarrhoea. To put a stop to the incessant descriptive angst I found something to help. God Bless the Internet! Apparently after some research […]

It’s Turtle-y Amazing

May 23, 2007

Today is May 23rd. Stop! don’t run away. This is a little one. I think it’s quite cheery too. Today is World Turtle Day. The first one was in 2000 and was founded by the American Tortoise Rescue group based in Malibu, CA. Turtle Day is a worldwide celebration, especially for those who find the […]

Through The Eye Of A Needle & Through A Red Light To A Modern Love Story

May 22, 2007

I don’t know how many of you have read my previous posts about BB1 and his new girlfriend Bird, but in an effort to make sure their first time “rocked” BB1 decided not to leave anything to chance and began, after consulting his physician (Dave from the pub), an intensive course of liquorice. Dave claims […]

Rage Against The Beige… And Other Stories

May 21, 2007

I was in a shop today buying food. It was M&S for those detail dependent people out there. Checkout 3. I was at the end of the conveyor belt about to put my shopping on when an old woman comes from her checkout, where there was a price check delay and pushes past me asking, […]

Have We Met Before?…Yes, It’s Cartoon Monday

May 21, 2007

What Not To Say To A Woman In Labour No. 3

By The Way…

May 18, 2007

…today is May 18th! 😆 It’s International Museum Day today so go see some culture and in ancient Greece they would be celebrating the Festival of Pan and in Rome they’d be partying for the same reason except they called Pan Faunus. Good stuff hey?! Tell me you don’t feel enlightened.

No It’s Not Groundhog Day… It’s Stupid Joke Friday

May 18, 2007

Three rabbits escape from a laboratory and quickly run away across the fields glad of their new found freedom. They’re walking along sharing their horror stories of what experiments they endured when after a while they come to a field full of lettuce and carrots and other wondrous vegetables. The three bunnies are overcome with […]