the blasts, the fallout, the sickness and the diar[y]hoea

Rage Against The Beige… And Other Stories

I was in a shop today buying food. It was M&S for those detail dependent people out there. Checkout 3.

I was at the end of the conveyor belt about to put my shopping on when an old woman comes from her checkout, where there was a price check delay and pushes past me asking, “Can I just jump in front of you?”


“No” I said bluntly. She looked amazed. As if she had a divine right to priority checkouting. She waited for a few seconds to see if I would feel guilty about it before grumping back to her buddy at the original checkout who said, “What’s wrong? Did he push in?” And what did push in lady say? “Yes.”

I didn’t bloody push in, I was there. My chicken was already on the belt. So I told them I didn’t push in, she did.

They didn’t like that, and I spent my time at the till listening to a chorus of disapproving muttered comments about how the world was ending due to lack of manners etc. etc.

Poxy old folk!

Damn the beige!!!!

Also, this weekend I was shopping with Trinity and her kids. I went into a card shop with her eldest. After looking at a lot of cards I decided not to buy anything and we left. Halfway out of the door she said at the top of her voice, “Pay for it, pay for it!”

The staff and security guard were very understanding… once they’d searched my bags. I received many frowning glances as passers-by judged me for using a child for shop lifting.

Still, she thought it was fun. Bless her. 😐

One other thing. A question that came to me and that has given BB2 and BB1 something to talk about other than Bird and the aphrodisiac qualities of liquorice. It is this:

How do you know when you have run out of invisible ink?


4 Responses to “Rage Against The Beige… And Other Stories”

  1. tee hee hee…. hee haa haa… *deep breath* hee hee hee *rolls off* he he hee hee

  2. Why wouldn’t you let her in? Because she was in beige?

  3. I hope you didn’t hurt yourself with all that laughing Nutty.

    Miss Lionheart – I didn’t let her in because she was pushing in. I was there first and it’s not like she asked, she just pushed past as if she was entitled to. She was rude! It’s an unfortunate side effect of the beige gene that rears it’s head at a certain age.

  4. Oooh the old people with their pushing in!!! You have to watch them old ladies, especially in m&s. You’ll never get anywhere if you stand for that kind of behaviour!!

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