the blasts, the fallout, the sickness and the diar[y]hoea

Through The Eye Of A Needle & Through A Red Light To A Modern Love Story

I don’t know how many of you have read my previous posts about BB1 and his new girlfriend Bird, but in an effort to make sure their first time “rocked” BB1 decided not to leave anything to chance and began, after consulting his physician (Dave from the pub), an intensive course of liquorice. Dave claims liquorice is a great aphrodisiac.

Five days worth of the Allsorts-of-Liquorice Diet and BB1 has spent the large part of the day on the toilet. The sexual prowess boosting properties of the stuff is still to be confirmed but if you are lacking a certain regularity then it is the way to go. Though I would limit your intake if I were you. BB1 is determined to continue, Dave is apparently the cleverest bloke he knows. 😐

BB2 is finding some solace in BB1’s misery.

On a different subject; why do some people in cars find the idea of red lights so hard to grasp? Red means stop. I was waiting at a pedestrian crossing, the lights were green but the traffic was backed up and not moving. Rather than leave the crossing clear as you should, some arse stopped on it.

The lights turned red and the green man started bleeping, but to cross the road the crowd of pedestrians had to weave around this twunt. Worse still, as the traffic moved on, instead of waiting for the people to clear off the road, he roared off through the red light narrowly missing the very folk he had forced into his path by his parking on the crossing in the first place. A complete an utter T!WUNT!!!

Once again on a different note. A funny thing I saw today. A pair of lads shouting and calling a couple of girls names at a bus stop. I understand from the row that one of the girls had refused the romantic advances of one of the boys (I made that sound very Brontë-licious didn’t I). The bus pulls up and the girls get on and the boys follow to the door unwilling to stop their attempts to woo. The girls give their parting shot and retire to rear of the bus. The boys, realising their affection is not going to be returned shout one final obscenity that they find incredibly humourous and leave. Only to walk right into the wing mirror of the bus. It catches one right in the face, sending him staggering backward into his erstwhile fellow who is tripped and falls to the floor.

Everyone who saw the whole thing found it very funny and I think I actually pissed myself. 😆
The girls in the bus saw it too and as the bus pulled away they could be seen waving to the pair of fallen wooers in what can only be described as a sarcastic manner.

Sometimes Karma is swift.


3 Responses to “Through The Eye Of A Needle & Through A Red Light To A Modern Love Story”

  1. Ah-it’s true then-love hurts. Thanks for the giggle. I didn’t even see it and it was still funny.

  2. Rampant diarrhea is just soooo sexy! LOL

  3. One of the funniest things I’ve seen for a while and so… just!

    And having the squits is not ideal for a night of passion!


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