the blasts, the fallout, the sickness and the diar[y]hoea

If Your Betty Boo Is A Number Two Urine Trouble!

BB1’s camping trip to the toilet has stretched into its second day. During the limited time he spent in the office he has tried to define to BB2 the quality of his diarrhoea. To put a stop to the incessant descriptive angst I found something to help. God Bless the Internet! Apparently after some research BB1’s poo rates a 6 or 7 on the Bristol Stool Chart.

Bristol Stool Chart

It has not made for a pleasant day. The liquorice diet is clearly bad for you. More disturbing is the interest shown by BB2. And the amount of detail the both of them are able to go into about their own and each others crap. Bizarre. (I was a number 4) πŸ˜† Was that too much information?!

Following the discovery of the Poop Chart I delved a little deeper into weird rating scales and found the following oddities.


This is obviously of great help and I have already printed one out and laminated it for above the toilet. It’s actually fun comparing your piss to the chart although I am getting competitive with myself and am actively trying to match colours, I’m thinking of arranging a points system for each colour and running an office competition. I’m not sure about the judging though. Maybe camera phones finally come into their own. (Again; number 4) πŸ™‚ Note to self: Drink more water.

Also here among the weird charts of the world is this one called the Schmidt Sting Pain Index:


Some of the best descriptions ever for pain I think. Almost poetic. Another pain chart that is kind of funny is this one:


I like the faces, they’re so… expressive. It’s called the Wong-Baker Scale by the way.

The next and final one is not for a bodily function like shite, piss and pain, though I suppose it could be related in some ways. It is the Scoville Heat Scale used for gauging the heat of chilli peppers. Used in conjunction with the Bristol Stool Chart it could make for an interesting study.


I think a cross-referenced Bristol Stool and Scoville Scale would be of great use. Imagine it in the front of every Indian menu. You would know when ordering just what to expect the next morning! Invaluable.


5 Responses to “If Your Betty Boo Is A Number Two Urine Trouble!”

  1. You truly are a great researcher.

    My favourite post to date :p)


  2. Obviously you have alot of free time at work. at least you put it to good use.

  3. This is funny… you should research an alcohol chart and match it with your urine one… then you could really plan an evening out!!

  4. I am BLUSHING!

  5. My thanks Mrs Hojo, glad you like it

    I should probably do more work Sarcasmom but this is more fun πŸ™‚

    Nutty, an alcohol chart is a great idea – I’ll get onto it

    Are you embarrassed Fi? What number were you? πŸ™‚

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: