the blasts, the fallout, the sickness and the diar[y]hoea

Archive for the ‘idiots’ Category

How Much Is That T-Rex In The Window?

June 11, 2007

Creationists. What. The. Fuck? I thought Intelligent Designers were ridiculous but they’re not so daft after all. A new $27 million museum propounding Creationist views opened in Kentucky. Replete with animatronic dinosaurs, a buff looking Adam and Eve and a special effects theatre with rumbling seats, rising mists and sea breezes the museum declares that […]

“Publications Of The World Thursday” The 2nd

April 19, 2007

Once more I spent many a long hour going square eyed in front of a screen to bring you yet another bizarre offering from the world of publishing. And, coming tomorrow is the inaugural “Stupid Joke Friday”. Now I know you are excited but try not to make a mess!

An International Criminal Or Just Another Student?

March 8, 2007

I got an application form this morning from a soon to be graduate. It was OK, what you’d expect really, though he is aiming for a 2:1 in Tourism! Is it necessary to study to be a tourist these days? What do you learn in a Tourism class? How to speak slowly and loudly to […]

Don’t Call Me, I’ll Not Call You

February 12, 2007

Some people are unbelievable!!! I received a CV from a man who is relatively high up in the management structure of his company. He’s dissatisfied in his current position blah blah blah. Looking for some new challenges etc. A good candidate really on paper and I had a couple of things in mind for him […]

Is This My Nightmare Or Yours?

February 8, 2007

Bullshit Bob 2 is in a strop with me now. He’s sitting at his desk tapping savagely at his keyboard, each pointy little finger jab aimed at my imaginary heart or eye. He is giving me that kind of silent treatment specifically designed not to be silent, the type punctuated by heavy sighs and mutters […]

Even The Pigeon Was Judging Me

February 7, 2007

Sitting on a bench in town today at lunch I found myself being harangued by a group of black clad, bible clutching loons. I was minding my own business, idly munching on a cheese sandwich just killing time until I had to head back to the dungeon office and the BB’s and Sourpuss when they […]

More From The C.V. Front

February 5, 2007

Below is a C.V. I received in the post today. The name has been changed to protect the moronic. I’m only grateful I’ve learned how to change font and colour so I can truly do this justice. CURRICULUM VITAE   COVER LETTER Name: Anne Oing Age: 34 Marital Status: Undefined Long-term Relationship Contact: tel – […]

I think you’ll find…

January 31, 2007

On the way into work this morning I saw a pair of kids hanging around the station just passing the time by scrawling grafitti on the seat. Oh the hedonistic days of youth. How did I grow up never realising the joy to be had standing on a cold station platform writing crap on furniture? […]

You Want A What?

January 30, 2007

The phone rings. I pick up the handset and say, “Hello, *****, Fatman speaking how may I help you?” The very picture of professionalism. A timid voice says, “Hello. I am Polish hand job seeker.” WTF? “I’m sorry, could you repeat that please?” “I am Polish hand job seeker please.” “OK. I think you may […]

Just Why Did I Get Up This Morning?

January 30, 2007

An uncomfortable morning this morning. Littleboy had some news but before I get into that I’ll tell you about him. He’s 15, wears mainly black and has an aversion to washing. However he does seem to prove that the Lynx effect pales in comparison to the 2 ASBO’s (for loitering and graffiti) and oversized hoody […]