the blasts, the fallout, the sickness and the diar[y]hoea

Archive for the ‘sex’ Category

A New Meaning To “Dumped”!

May 31, 2007

I have been very busy. This is why I am posting for the first time this week and it’s Thursday! Terrible, and I missed another Monday Cartoon. I apologise. Not much to say really except that the liquorice diet doesn’t work for boosting sexual prowess; it’s great for weight loss since you spend a huge […]

No It’s Not Groundhog Day… It’s Stupid Joke Friday

May 18, 2007

Three rabbits escape from a laboratory and quickly run away across the fields glad of their new found freedom. They’re walking along sharing their horror stories of what experiments they endured when after a while they come to a field full of lettuce and carrots and other wondrous vegetables. The three bunnies are overcome with […]

It’s Funny How They Find You

April 26, 2007

I have been meaning to do this sooner and because I never got around to it the funnier and frankly, more worrying examples of searches have gone from my stats. However, I am posting this because I think it’s interesting and a little funny. It may not be, but what the hell, it’s my blog. […]

“There’s Life In The Old Fella Yet!” Said The Old Fella

April 11, 2007

I just saw the oldest man ever walk out of the brothel over the road. Yes we have a brothel over the road in case you didn’t know. I’ve posted before about it so I wont go into the details. Suffice to say the man was so old I am amazed he had any needs […]

Where Does The Time Go? It’s Cartoon Monday Again!!

March 19, 2007

Bored? Fancy Some Trivia Or Some Sex?

March 12, 2007

OK. I am bored. Nothing happened on the weekend and today has followed suit so far. A dull day. A bland day. A day whose vapidity is exceeded only by my own tiredness. This lack of interestingness leaves me with a problem; nothing to post. It is a problem because, as proved by my plummeting […]

Man Points…Up His Arse

March 2, 2007

Also, I was on the train today minding my own business when from the seat behind me a phone rang (Justin Timberlake “I’m bringing sexy back”) and a loud voice answered. A man. “Hi mate… yeah good good.” pause “Yeah, on the train, be there in about 40 minutes.” pause “Yeah… err was OK, well […]

But Scunthorpe United are playing dear…

February 14, 2007

The Sex Inspectors. A very strange programme. I can’t help but wonder why anyone would do that. Actually allow themselves to be filmed in the bedroom for the nation to watch. And not only that but to talk so frankly about their sex lives. Sure, go to a therapist because they clearly need it but […]

No, I Am Not Pleased To See You. And Yes, This Is A Gun In My Pocket

February 6, 2007

There is a brothel across the street from us. It’s no big deal. I’m not against it on any puritanical grounds, if anything I think prostitution should be legalised. For many reasons. The women who work there turn up early in the morning with their ruck sacks presumably filled with the tools of their trade […]

You Want A What?

January 30, 2007

The phone rings. I pick up the handset and say, “Hello, *****, Fatman speaking how may I help you?” The very picture of professionalism. A timid voice says, “Hello. I am Polish hand job seeker.” WTF? “I’m sorry, could you repeat that please?” “I am Polish hand job seeker please.” “OK. I think you may […]