the blasts, the fallout, the sickness and the diar[y]hoea

Archive for the ‘stupid’ Category

They Thought It Was All Over… But It’s Not! Stupid Joke Friday Returns

October 5, 2007

The first Stupid Joke Friday for quite a while so I’m giving you a few to make up for it. I hope you enjoy! DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE… A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. “What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?” asks the cop. “I’m […]

How Much Is That T-Rex In The Window?

June 11, 2007

Creationists. What. The. Fuck? I thought Intelligent Designers were ridiculous but they’re not so daft after all. A new $27 million museum propounding Creationist views opened in Kentucky. Replete with animatronic dinosaurs, a buff looking Adam and Eve and a special effects theatre with rumbling seats, rising mists and sea breezes the museum declares that […]

And Like A Boomerang Stupid Joke Friday Keeps Coming Back

June 8, 2007

Once more it is that time again. Friday has returned and brought with it a stupid joke. Be still your beating hearts, the long cold wait is over! Two men walk into a bar at the top of a skyscraper, it’s a very high class spot and is full of attractive people (women). Both men […]

Repitition Is The Reality And The Seriousness Of Life…. Err… No It’s Just Stupid Joke Friday

June 1, 2007

A man is driving down a country road late one night when his car breaks down. Try as he might he can’t fix it so decides he to walk for help. After about half an hour of walking along narrow lanes he hears a voice in the distance shouting “14!…14!” and then again, “14!” Confused […]

A Horse, A Horse, My Kingdom For A Horse… Would You Settle For A Stupid Joke Friday?

May 25, 2007

A man goes to the doctors. “What seems to be the problem?” the doctor says when he walks into the office. “Well… I have a lettuce…,” the man pauses embarrassed, “…a lettuce poking from my arse!” “Really!” the doctor exclaims. “Yes, and nothing I do will get rid of it!” “Hmmm,” the doctor ponders. “OK. […]

No It’s Not Groundhog Day… It’s Stupid Joke Friday

May 18, 2007

Three rabbits escape from a laboratory and quickly run away across the fields glad of their new found freedom. They’re walking along sharing their horror stories of what experiments they endured when after a while they come to a field full of lettuce and carrots and other wondrous vegetables. The three bunnies are overcome with […]

Operation Shockingly Poor

May 14, 2007

OK. Who watches the Eurovision Song Contest? I don’t. I hate it. The terrible candy-pop music sung by people who should at best be employed as jingle singers for Lidl or Aldi drives me mad. Take the UK entry this year; Scooch. Seriously is that what we want to represent our musical culture in the […]

It’s The Circle Of Life… Well Of A Week Anyway, It’s Stupid Joke Friday

May 11, 2007

A farmer wakes up one morning and is distraught to find his cockerel dead in its coop. This is a blow as he needs a cockerel to breed his chickens. He decides to go to the market to buy a replacement. At the market he sees loads of birds, none of which seem to fit […]

And The Punchlines Just Keep On Coming… Stupid Joke Friday!!

May 4, 2007

Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrrrrrrrrre!! 🙂 A funny local news story also… Two boys were arrested for playing with fireworks and car battery acid during the early hours of last night. One was charged and the other was let off! 😆 Two for the price of one today as they are a […]

I’m A Bilateral Employment Synthesist (& a part-time Visual Representation Engineer)… What Are You?

April 27, 2007

Unbelievably, Littleboy has got a job! 😮 He is… drum roll please… a ‘Day Replenishment Customer Assistant’ at Tesco. In other words he’s a shelf stacker. I and Enola Gay are still dumbfounded by his decision to work. Up until now I had assumed it was against his religion but I think alcohol and girls […]