the blasts, the fallout, the sickness and the diar[y]hoea

Archive for the ‘twunts’ Category

Big Brother… It’s Just A Wacky Race

June 12, 2007

Its Big Brother 8 now. I can’t say I am really a fan to be honest. The people who enter the house are pretty much always annoying. Most make me want to pluck my eyes out with a fondue fork and the others make me want to pluck their eyes out with a fondue fork. […]

The Union Flag…It’s In The Name!

June 5, 2007

Gordon “the devil” Brown called for a Britain Day. For once I think he may be right about something, though it pains me to agree with the beady eyed little rat. I don’t like him. But the Britain Day is a good idea. He says we must reclaim the Union Flag from the far right […]

Through The Eye Of A Needle & Through A Red Light To A Modern Love Story

May 22, 2007

I don’t know how many of you have read my previous posts about BB1 and his new girlfriend Bird, but in an effort to make sure their first time “rocked” BB1 decided not to leave anything to chance and began, after consulting his physician (Dave from the pub), an intensive course of liquorice. Dave claims […]

Things I Hate No. 2

March 26, 2007

People who phone me at home. Well, let me qualify that, sales people who phone me at home. Now I do make sales calls for my job, but only to people who are also at work. I do not want to have someone in an annoyingly upbeat voice asking if I would be interested in […]

An International Criminal Or Just Another Student?

March 8, 2007

I got an application form this morning from a soon to be graduate. It was OK, what you’d expect really, though he is aiming for a 2:1 in Tourism! Is it necessary to study to be a tourist these days? What do you learn in a Tourism class? How to speak slowly and loudly to […]

Interview…And then Out Of Sight

February 27, 2007

I interviewed a woman for a job today. A very nice woman, attractive, well presented, funny with a solid employment history. She was looking for a job with a little less responsibility – a career downsizing if you will. A very good candidate. All was going well until I asked: “So what other skills do […]

I’ll Take Your Word For It

February 11, 2007

I was reading this and it got me to thinking about words and their meanings and how they are distinctive to us, our family and friends and our geography. In my house there are an awful lot of words thrown around in the heat of the moment, fierce words cast at each other like weapons. […]

Is This My Nightmare Or Yours?

February 8, 2007

Bullshit Bob 2 is in a strop with me now. He’s sitting at his desk tapping savagely at his keyboard, each pointy little finger jab aimed at my imaginary heart or eye. He is giving me that kind of silent treatment specifically designed not to be silent, the type punctuated by heavy sighs and mutters […]

Even The Pigeon Was Judging Me

February 7, 2007

Sitting on a bench in town today at lunch I found myself being harangued by a group of black clad, bible clutching loons. I was minding my own business, idly munching on a cheese sandwich just killing time until I had to head back to the dungeon office and the BB’s and Sourpuss when they […]

No, I Am Not Pleased To See You. And Yes, This Is A Gun In My Pocket

February 6, 2007

There is a brothel across the street from us. It’s no big deal. I’m not against it on any puritanical grounds, if anything I think prostitution should be legalised. For many reasons. The women who work there turn up early in the morning with their ruck sacks presumably filled with the tools of their trade […]